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a Gulf War
There once was a war with Iraq.
Investors were taken aback.
They started to sell.
The market fell.
Then it came roaring back.
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Great Buys
Y2K
For I dip't into the future,
Far as human eye could see,
Saw a vision of the world,
And all the wonders that would be.
Saw the Math of retro-Time,
Dismiss one hundred years,
Saw the Millenium Equation*,
Validate our fears.
Saw computers out to pasture,
Saw people take their place,
Saw pencils put to paper,
To save the human race.
Saw people selling digits,
Two digits for a buck,
On every street corner,
A CEO ... out of luck.
* 1999 + 1 = 1900
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Oktoberfest
Summer sunset, Autumn dawn
Songbirds swarm and then are gone.
As Winter comes upon the lea
Oktober marks the TSE
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St. Nick's Rally
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not the click of a mouse.
The stocks were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
Investors were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of gains danced in their heads.
And Funds were sleeping, and Stocks in repose,
They had just settled down for a long winter's doze.
When out of the market there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Stocks were gaining ... and Funds, the same,
And old St. Nick was calling their name:
"Now T,
now MO,
now GM
and BBD!
On DOW,
on NASDAQ,
on S&P
and TSE!
To the top of the charts! To the top of the Wall!
Now dash away, Stocks, dash away all!"
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as January goes, so goes the year
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A Bull or a Bear,
It's hard to gauge.
But does January
Set the stage?
<< TSE S&P>>
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P/E Ratios
There once was an Index: S&P
Whose ratios evoked much glee
Pick two numbers at random
Divide them in tandem
And generate your own P-over-E
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Pessimism is for the Aged
There once was a lad, S&P
Whose growth was random, you see.
But over much time
His growth rate did climb
And now he's jumping with glee.
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Youngsters may sleep
but Seniors toss
at market returns
and portfolio loss
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Asset Allocation
 |
There once was a Hobbit called Jock
Whose money was stored in a sock.
Because of fleas and moss,
There was risk of loss,
So he switched to bonds and stock.
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My Stock has Kurtosis 
A healthy man called Moses
Had a stock with Halitosis
He gave it a pill
But it got very ill
And its chart got thoracic Kyphosis.
His stock underwent Hypnosis
To cure the painful Kyphosis.
But the market tanked
And his stock sanked
And Moses got ill with Leukosis.
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